Be who YOU are. IT GETS BETTER!

Happy Wednesday all!

I hope you find today's blog an encouraging one!

So I was on YouTube, and I happened to stumble across a video from Perez Hilton. Let me start off by saying that I do NOT like Perez Hilton, but what caught my attention was the title; "Adam Lambert: 'It gets better.'" I LOVE Adam Lambert. This video made me love him even more. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_QVknV-M6U&feature=topvideos



Now, let me let you all know that as a Christian, I do not believe in being gay, but I am NOT going to shun someone because they are gay. I don't believe that God shuns ANYONE whether they are gay or not. I know there are Christians out there who will disagree with me and that's fine, but personally, I will not judge people that way. That's entirely up to Him. I am in no way good enough to even go there. 

What I do love about this video, is that he's encouraging people to be themselves. He is focusing on the gay community (the video is in support of the Trevor project thetrevorproject.org), however, generally speaking, he's encouraging people to step outside the box and be honest with themselves no matter how hard it is. Because as cheesy and cliche as it sounds, it is not easy to be 100% who you want to be. 

It's interesting to hear Adam say that people are 'afraid' of others who are different, and that's why bullies are who they are. I never thought of it that way, and it's a weird thing to wrap my head around.  When I'm afraid of something, I just avoid it as much as I possibly can. 


I guess the idea of fearing a lifestyle is what's so confusing to me. If someone chooses a lifestyle, how can you fear it? They aren't forcing YOU to live that lifestyle, so what's there to fear? Especially when it comes to being gay. I mean, I may not understand their lifestyle, but I definitely don't fear it. It's their choice, and really, it's not a big deal to me. Maybe it should be, but it isn't. How can I fear somebody sleeping with someone of the same gender? It's not a pleasant thought, but as I said, I'm not forced into their lifestyle, so I can't fear it. 


"What you're doing by being who you are, is you're keeping it real, and you're being really brave." Isn't that the truth! It's so easy to look at the decisions people make, the lifestyle choices people make, and judge them for it, gossip about it etc. But what business is it of ours? We're not them, we don't know what's important to them, what they're values are etc. We may not agree with the decisions they are making, but why can't we just take a step back, think before we speak, and either let them be, or be an encouragement?


There is so much negativity around us nowadays. It's such a frustrating thing to live in a world with as much negativity as there is. I'll come right out and say that I'm not the most positive person all the time. There are a few things that will really get to me. But when it comes right down to it, I try to be as positive as I possibly can in all situations. Being negative is not good for you in any aspect of life. "You have to be strong, and you have to pay attention to the positive."

When you look at someone, there will always be a first impression. When you see someone you know, you'll have an instant impression from past experiences, things you've heard 'through the grapevine' etc etc. I have it to. It happens. It's human nature. 

"There is so much more to me, than who I choose to sleep with." THAT right there is the kicker.There is SO much more to people than the decisions they make. Sometimes it's the decisions that make a person, but it's about taking the time to dig a little deeper and find out which one is which for a particular person. 

If you understand what it feels like to be fearful of a lifestyle, I encourage you to overcome that. Stop attacking people because you fear their lifestyle. You're fearful of a gay lifestyle? How about you take the time to sit down with someone you know who is gay, and talk about it. Find out why they chose to become gay (I don't believe that a person is born gay, maybe ask if they feel that's how they were born), maybe ask how their friends/family feel about it. Dig a little deeper. Let them know that you don't necessarily agree with their lifestyle, and from now on, you'll try your best to overcome that. 

I don't care who you are, but everyone has feelings that can get hurt. Everyone has something that will offend them. They may seem like the hardest people on the planet, but even the hardest person on earth has feelings whether they want to admit it or not. Stop thinking about only yourself for just one minute. Because that one minute can change someone's life for either the good or the bad.


Next time when you look at someone, and you get that first impression, if it's negative, try and turn it around. If it's positive, be thankful you have someone in your life you can feel positively about. Not everyone has that, and it's the cause of so many suicides around the world. We need each other. We need someone to watch our back, and to be kind to us when we need it. What we don't need, is people who put us down, and are just generally negative influences in our lives. 


Be that positive influence. People around you will be thankful for it, and be more loyal to you. It'll be more beneficial to everyone around you, and it may even turn into something that people pay forward to others.  Let's make life a better experience by overcoming the negative and bringing more positive.

Too many thoughts!

WOWEEEE It has been FAR too long since I've posted last!

Lemme tell ya those freaking midterms are a killer!

I have been soo busy the last couple weeks I've barely had any time to sit and think about anything other than Management Accounting and Canadian Income Tax (blech!) for the last 2 weeks. 

And even now, I feel like I have so much on my mind right now to tell you guys about, that I can't even figure out how to put it all down...there's spiritual stuff I'm trying to figure out....

relational stuff....

and just generally life stuff!




And you know, Thanksgiving weekend really got me thinking, how much are we actually grateful for? Do we really understand how much we have? It boggles my mind every day.


Take a look around you. You're probably inside somewhere, so there are walls around you, a roof over your head, it's probably warm. If not, you most likely have a sweater, socks, or a blanket within reach. How ridiculous is that? And it seems so silly to be thankful for that kind of stuff, because everyone around us has those kinds of things. But think about it. There are people in the city you live in who have to sleep outside because for whatever reason, they are without a home. 

We should really be thankful that we wake up in the morning never mind the fact that we have so much STUFF. 

I'm not going on and on about this to make you all feel guilty, but it's something to think about.


Every day, we should wake up and be thankful we can open our eyes and walk around. We should be thankful that we can get into our car and drive every morning never mind how cold the car is. 

Every time you complain about something, think about something related to the complaint that you can be thankful for. It's something I'm striving for, and I think we can all live a happier life because of it. 

And take it one step further. Tell God how thankful you are for that specific thing, and pray that He'll help you understand how much He's given you. 


Have an awesome day!

Oh happy day!

Hello my lovely readers!

Just thought I'd let you know all know that the last couple days have been much happier! My perspective on life is definitely brighter.

So, I thought I'd change up the post today.

Instead of being a vent on life and it's experiences, I thought I'd do a product review! These are always fun, and generally speaking really helpful!

Most of the reviews will be on beauty products, or skin care products so if you're not interested/not into that kind of stuff, then this isn't for you! I am in no way a "beauty guru" but these are all things that I've learned as I've recently started experiencing with makeup and makeup products.

I'll try and post pictures for as many products as possible!

The first thing I'm going to talk about is all in the same company. I've recently (within the last 6 months) been introduced to a company called Lush. I say introduced, but it's really re-introduced. I used their "bath bombs" and such when I was younger but since I stopped using those, I stopped shopping there altogether.


However, I do have skin problems, and a friend of mine was telling me about how great their products were! So I began to try them!

Just as a side note, and something to keep in mind when using Lush products; their products do not have chemical preservatives. So when you are storing products such as their shampoo bars and soaps, you have to keep them in a place where they aren't constantly being hit by water or sitting in a pool of water or they will disintegrate. 

The first thing I tried is a facial mask called "catastrophe cosmetic". For whatever reason, I can't find the product on their website...but it's a really great mask for people with problem skin. It has roses and blueberries I believe, which are good antioxidants, and great for the skin! This product does have to be kept in the fridge, but, it comes in a small container so it takes up barely any room. 


The next Lush product I tried was their shampoo bars. Yes, it is a very strange thought, and yes, I was skeptical. However, they are absolutely amazing! The main thing I was skeptical about was whether they lathered or not. Nothing bothers me more than soap that doesn't lather. So I wasn't convinced. The woman who was helping me however, showed me (in her hands) that the product in fact does lather, and believe me, it does!

I've tried two of their bars so far. The first one I tried was for dandruff, and it's called "squeaky green". Now it looks gross, and the smell of it doesn't appeal to all noses, but it's not overpowering, and it seemed to help a little bit with my dandruff problems. The only problem I had with it is that it seemed to weigh down my hair. I have very fine hair, so I do have to be careful what products go in my hair.

The other shampoo bar I tried is called "Seanik". This one promises to 'liven up dull, flat hair' and it does just that! It's VERY volumizing, and didn't weigh down my hair as much. I'm not very fond of the smell of this one, so I'm not using it very much. Here is the link to the solid shampoos on the Lush website: http://www.lush.ca/shop/products/haircare/solid-shampoos/


Lip scrubs are the next thing I tried from Lush. I do like this product. The small container is packed with exfoliant, and it's all natural, so you can just lick it off! I believe there are 3 flavours; mint, bubblegum, and chocolate mint. 

The last thing that I've tried from Lush, and probably my favorite product so far for the smell alone, is a soap called "honey I washed the kids". This is the most amazing soap I've ever had the pleasure of using. It has a very soft, smell. It smells like honey and caramel, and a little bit of coffee. It's amazing! And again, I had to ask if it lathered, because if it doesn't I won't buy it. But it does! My only minor problem with this one is I'm not sure how long it will last me! I'm taking good care of this product (see side note), and it just seems to be getting significantly smaller each time I use it. So we'll see. I might provide an update later just to let you all know how long it lasted me.


I believe that is all the Lush products I wanted to talk about...I definitely recommend you try their stuff out! Do talk to the ladies working there if you have any questions. I do find the women in the Kelowna store can be pushy though, so be aware!


The next thing I'm going to talk about is Quo makeup brushes. I have one brush from them, which is an eyeshadow brush, and I'm not a fan. I haven't had much experience with makeup brushes so far, but I just don't like this product. You don't get a lot of product on the brush, and the application is messy. Very frustrating for someone who is just starting out in the makeup world. The reason I chose to purchase this product is because of it's price. I didn't want to spend the $27 that M.A.C charges for their brushes, so I decided to go cheap. Not worth it. 

The brands that I would recommend for brushes is Elizabeth Arden and Lise Watier. The brushes are not too outrageously expensive but they aren't super cheap either. I have the foundation brush from Elizabeth Arden (pictured above) and the concealer brush from Lise Watier and I LOVE them. They are definitely brushes I will be taking care of and using for a while!

Moving on to MAC. I recently bought their tinted moisturizer, and I have to say, for the amount of money I paid for it, I'm a tad disappointed. The color is good, but it sweats off and at the end of the day, and I look oily. I don't really have oily skin, but I have problem skin. I tried it again yesterday, and I needed it to last me 9 hours, so I tried putting a powder over it, and that definitely helps. But I also prefer a more matte look over a sheer look, so that could also be my problem. But to me, "sheer" shouldn't mean "oily", and that's honestly how I felt I looked at the end of the day.


I believe that's all the product knowledge I have for you all today! Hope you enjoyed it, and let me know if this is something you want me to do again! Much love!

This is personal today.

Do any of you have a friend who's always the person who sees the light at the end of the tunnel?

Normally, that's me. But today, not so much. I'm just bummed right out today. It's one of those days where no amount of angry music, happy music, will boost my mood (which let me tell you, if one thing should boost my mood, it should be music). So if anyone has good guaranteed-to-work mood boosters, post in the comment box!

I feel like somebody unzipped my body, ripped my heart out (catch the reference?) stomped on it (this is where the reference stops and my originality comes into play) gave it back to me, then said "here, deal with what you've done". When really, what did I do besides give you my heart? YOU'RE the one that stomped on it. YOU pick up the broken pieces. YOU massage it better. (Like THAT'S ever going to happen).

There are some things that will put my light out, and as a Christian, I'm supposed to let my light shine for others. Which most of the time, I understand and feel I can accomplish. There are days however, when I'm faced with certain situations where this stumps me. 

It comes back to dealing with people. Doesn't it always? 


I've come to the conclusion that I'm too nice. I'm kidding. But seriously.Time and time again I'm giving people the benefit of the doubt, and it feels like every time that happens. I get burned. So that little light that's shining 'before men' is getting a little too 'hot' and burning me. Not a fun feeling. 

What's interesting about some people is their lack of listening skills, combined with their ignorance. In the past 4 days, I've had 2 conversations with two separate people, where I've told them things about themselves that they should work on, and they TOTALLY missed the cue.  

 It's so difficult to be friends with someone who doesn't get a hint. Even the most obvious ones like when you're trying to have a private conversation with someone and the other person won't go away, or when you're trying to work on something and a friend doesn't get the hint that you might be too busy to talk to them.


Those are really minor problems. There are more serious issues that people need to understand about themselves, and where, as a friend, we can give 'subtle hints about' such as when people undermine others. Yes. This came up in one of the conversations I had. The person I told this to, did the standard 'yeah I know', but didn't really get the point. This person felt only their experiences were the truly difficult ones, and no one else in the world was going to suffer quite like they were. Which, in some ways is true, but it doesn't give anyone the right to undermine people.


I don't care who you are, or what you're doing with your life, other people have experiences and hardships too. They may not be ANYTHING like yours, and you may think that what they're experiencing is minor, but sometimes people want to talk about things, so you need to shut your mouth, keep your opinions to yourself, and listen. Because you will get nowhere in life being THAT self absorbed. 


There are people out there who just don't get it. They have no idea how to listen, and they have no idea that what you're telling them might actually be applicable to their life. Nobody likes to hear that they aren't perfect. Nobody likes to hear that there are things they do that annoy others. But that's just too bad. Wake up genius, you're not perfect, and neither am I. I in no way, shape, or form, walk around like I'm the best thing going. I know my imperfections. Maybe I know them a bit too well, so you can add that to the pile of imperfections I've got going for me. You want perfect? Buy a Barbie. She's got a perfect figure, and she won't complain. In fact, she won't even talk to you. Have fun with that. 
 
 As crappy as I feel some days, I have no desire to be 'perfect'. Because really, who decides what's perfect? I know some people who I definitely wouldn't want to decide what's perfect and what isn't, and in no way am I trying to tell you my opinion of perfection. I'm expressing how I feel (which is the point of a blog, no?). 


I should in no way have to explain myself when I tell you that my day was awful. Or when I'm feeling stressed out about something. Or when I'm just not feeling happy. Everybody feels, and everybody thinks their feelings are more severe than others. But that doesn't mean that one should have to explain every minor detail when they're having a conversation with someone.


What I am trying to say, is don't let your feelings get to your head. You may have traveled many exotic, exciting places. You may have suffered greatly in your life. There are other people in the world besides you (SHOCKER ALERT!) so be considerate. The world does not revolve around a single person or a group of people. Think before you speak or act, you never know how you will affect people.

Blogging=Communicating...right?

So to anyone who has kept up to date with the postings, you'll know that when I started this blog, I had no idea why I even bothered. I never would've imagined that it would've given me the confidence boost that it has. I'm working harder and harder on speaking my mind, and letting people know how I truly feel, and lately, it has worked to my advantage. Not only does a person become more aware when they communicate, they have the potential to even laugh more. 

I'm starting to realize how much more I need to communicate, and it actually isn't as scary (in some cases) as I figured. Now, I even look forward to communicating!  (Some of the time anyway...)


However, there is still a small part of me that wonders why the heck do I bother? Nobody really cares do they? What do I have to tell people? Apparently, people do care, and I have more to tell than I actually realized.

I should probably further explain why communication isn't natural to me.

First of all, I'm just a quiet person. I'm not the loudest person in the crowd, not the first person you hear when you enter a room etc. I just wasn't brought up to be loud. Being an only child, I guess I didn't need to be loud. 

Second of all, by nature, I'm a listener. I love to listen to others, and help out when I can. I'm way more comfortable doing that, and again, for those of you who have read the previous posts, know that this is why I feel like I'm here. To be around when people need someone to vent to.  

 It's funny how often we think we're on the same page with someone, when more often than not, we're at other sides of the table. Which is why it's so important for people to talk to each other, and for open communication to happen. 


And to be truthful, I don't think I'm the only one who's scared to death of communicating. Of speaking their mind. It's a scary thing to let yourself become vulnerable. There's a high potential for the other person to judge you, and in the end, the person letting themselves be vulnerable feels like an idiot. That's so wrong. 


It's amazing how often relationships end due to miscommunication. You might think that you couldn't have been any more clear, but without clarification, how do you really know? Words can mean many different things, and to add to the complication, the way words are said and body language play roles in how things can be interpreted. Sometimes, what isn't said is also taken into consideration. Proverbs 16:22 says "Understanding is a fountain of life to those who have it, but folly (recklessness) brings punishment to fools." In other words, when we understand the entire picture, it makes life a lot better, and when we don't take the time to clarify things, we are being foolish. 

But a lasting relationship isn't just about communication, it's also about being a good listener. Sometimes what makes communicating difficult, is when you're trying to communicate with someone who isn't a good listener. That person you talk to that doesn't quite hear you and jumps to their own conclusions, or doesn't quite understand the seriousness and laughs or is judgmental. It's situations like that that make communication scary. But we have to take the leap in order to find out who we can talk to about certain issues, and also to properly maintain a relationship. 

But I think the ultimate key to communication is being open and honest. Which is what I'm working on I guess. I don't know. I'm just working on communication in general. Life is too short to have regrets. Communicating shouldn't be one of them whether you spoke too soon or not enough. Live life how you want to, and based on what you think is important. Don't let people get in your way! 

 

Put your weapon down.

 There are only a few things that will make me happy before 8 in the morning.

One of them is coffee. Or tea. Anything with caffeine. Usually it's coffee but still...

The other is mellow music (again, usually). This morning, I had both of them combined. Yay!

I'm listening to Justin Nozuka,and the song I'm currently listening to is called "woman put your weapon down."  Here's a link to the song, check it out! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYfmVrjeieY 
Or at least check out the lyrics here...

http://www.lyricsmania.com/woman_put_your_weapon_down_lyrics_justin_nozuka.html


Seriously, it is one of my absolute favorite songs at the moment. For whatever reason, it speaks the truth to me on so many levels. 

And honestly, it applies as much to girls as it does to guys. Just in different ways.

To me, a woman's 'weapon' is that all guys are jerks, all guys out there to break your heart and just want to sleep with you and once they've done that, they're going bye bye. They're scared of commitment. It's such a common occurrence to see girls get there hopes up over this one particular guy, and then when he freaks out and buggers off, our weapon comes up because we're instantly shattered. So the next guy that comes around that might actually be good to us,  has to deal with us with our weapon up. Awesome right? Not so much... 


I'm not a guy, so I can't speak 100% truth about this, but maybe if there are guys that are reading, they can help me out in the comment box below.
MY experience with a guy's 'weapon' is that they have this general opinion that all girls want is for guys to buy them stuff and take them out and party every weekend. Every time I meet a new guy, it's 'my ex told me things were good when I was buying her stuff' or 'all girls want to do is party' or 'she complained that I never took her out'. So. Not. True. Maybe that's the appearance a lot of girls give, but it's so not the case for me. And now girls that are similar to me, have to deal with the weapon's that they put up. Again, not so awesome.


Yes, I screwed up in my first relationship by giving this impression, but you would have to fully understand what went on to understand why I might've wanted him to take me out more often than he did. 


Here's the deal. Girls want to feel special. We want you to make us feel like we're the only girl that matters to you. SO cliche it hurts but it's the truth.


Want to make me feel special? I'm not going to give away all my secrets but I'm telling you right now that I'm not expecting a fancy dinner every time we go out (maybe even not at all, depending on the seriousness of the relationship) but I do expect you to want to hang out with me, and at least make the effort to take that first step. I can't stand it when I have to do all the work. I have to say, as soon as I start feeling like I'm making the effort all the time and I'm getting absolutely nothing from the other person (not talking like dinner, I'm talking about lack of connection), my weapon goes up because I get hurt and frustrated.


But really, we should be putting our weapons down. Guys, not all girls are sluts, not all girls want to party, and not all girls want fancy things.Girls, not all guys are out there to sleep with you and then leave you. Not all guys are out there to break your heart. I don't know if there are any guys out there that will deliberately do things to hurt a girl's feelings. 

Honestly, if we all put our weapons down more often, you'd be surprised who you'd meet, and the friendships you could develop.You may even find someone you can see yourself spending some serious time with. This year alone I've met people who I've truly come to like because I've put my weapon down. I've also put my weapon up to somebody I thought I knew and put a lot of time and effort towards because they hurt me. I'm not promising that every time you 'put your weapon down' that you'll find your best friend, but if you put your mind in the right place, you may get an enjoyable experience out of it. 


So try it! I'm going to continue on this throughout the year, and it may even be something that lasts a lifetime!