Friendship

Hey all!

I haven't posted a song on one of my blogs for a while so here you go! It kinda goes with a theme, but it's kinda sad...so hopefully it doesn't alter the mood I wanted too terribly much. 

So, how often have you been asked the question; "Would you rather have a lot of friends, or a few close ones?" I have been asked this question numerous times in my life, and I've wavered back and forth between the two options. I've been faced with this question over the last couple of weeks, but this time, I've been asking the question, and I've been asking it of myself. 

I started asking myself the question when I had coffee with a friend from high school. We were discussing high school drama; particularly the summers before and after grade 12, and our grade 12 year itself. 

The high school we graduated from is a small one, and most of my friends from my particular "group" I have known since kindergarten. It wasn't the superficial form of "know" that sometimes gets tossed around, such as "I've known her forever" but you've really only known her for a year or two. 

Eventually, as more new students enrolled at the school, more and more people joined our "group", and slowly, the "core people" grew further and further apart. At first, I didn't really think much of it, mostly because I still felt like I belonged. 

As the years continued however, I started to feel less and less like I belonged. That's when I started to get annoyed.

And I know. It's high school. Suck it up princess, right? 

Why? Why should I suck it up? When I've known people for a certain period of time, is it wrong to expect to be felt like part of a group?

I went entire summers looking at pictures on Facebook of my friends having fun, and me going "thanks for the invite guys..." I have a cell phone, I have access to a vehicle. There are no excuses.

I'm going to pause here.

I am in no way trying to be whiney, or trying to make you all feel sorry for me. And I'm not angry per se. What I am doing however, is ranting, which will have a point. I'm getting there.

So I asked my friend over coffee, "What did I do to them to be treated that way?" Her response was, "nothing. I think you just sort of slipped under the radar." 

Yikes. 

So in other words, had I made a stink about it, I would've been invited.

Wrong. That would've just made things worse. But that's not really the point.

The point is, what's so great about having a large group of friends, if they aren't going to make some of the effort? What's the point of having a large group of friends, and one person makes plans with somebody, then that somebody adds another somebody, and eventually you've got everybody...except for those one or two that tend to "slip under the radar". But OH WELL. They won't care...right?

WRONG.

If I've done something to somebody to make them angry or offend them or made them feel uncomfortable, I would rather know, then just be treated like nothing. Besides, I can't change if I don't know what the heck I'm doing wrong. Sometimes people don't understand what they have done. Nobody's perfect. 

So here's the deal.

I love being surrounded by friends. I've become more into larger groups than I used to be. 

However, it seems completely useless to me to be surrounded by people who, when it comes down to it, aren't going to be around when you need them, and just generally don't care. 

And I guess that's the way God works too....but that's an entirely different topic. 

So, to cut this long story short, I would rather have friends who are going to be there for me. Who are going to listen to me when I need an ear, and who will let me listen when they need someone. Who will include me in fun times, and who I would want to include in mine. Because otherwise, all you have is acquaintances.