Conversation

I'M FINALLY BLOGGING.

Good grief. It's only been forever and a stone age. People are actually ASKING about the blog. 

You know it's been too long when...




So I had an experience today, that should be a simple thing, but turned into something that turned my entire day around. 

It was something as simple as a conversation. 




We have those every day. Or at least we think we do. But do we...really?




I had a conversation today with a person that I've known for many many years; but with whom I've never had a real conversation. Which feels kind of strange, but I'm only just 20. So life really has only just started. 




It was a real conversation where I felt like BOTH parties were actually engaged in the conversation. Like, we had so much and nothing to catch up on all at the same time. 

What struck me, and still strikes me now, is the eye contact part. To me, that's how you can tell if you're having a real, raw conversation with a person. 


I mean, he SEARCHED for my eyes for Pete's sake. I don't think I've ever felt that experience. 


We're so used to "conversations" where we've got our phone on, our computer on, maybe our iPods in our ears, that we've forgotten what a conversation actually is. 


What's so disappointing to me, is how weird it felt to give him my full eye contact. I used to be so comfortable with it, and then I was sitting there, and he'd look at me right in my eyes, and I'd get all squirmy inside. And not the "OMG he's looking at me I wonder if he 'likes' me" kind of squirmy. It was a "this doesn't happen very often" kind of squirmy. 


Because it doesn't. 


I mean really, how often do you receive, and give someone your FULL eye contact? Thinking about it now, I've been doing it less and less. 


And honestly, I feel terrible about it. And I blame part of it on technology.


We've got so many distractions around us, so many things to avoid uncomfortable situations, that we have now turned something that should be completely natural into something completely uncomfortable. 

It's something I never even thought about until today, when it was actually searched for. 


You honestly will have no idea what I'm talking about unless you've experienced this. Such a basic part of life, completely forgotten about. Or, it's just been completely avoided. 


They say the eyes are the opening to the soul. Maybe that's why it's so hard to give full eye contact, and receive it. 

I honestly feel like we don't have genuine conversations everyday. Maybe with some people we do. Hopefully if you have a significant other in your life, you have genuine conversations at least more frequently. And I feel like some people may not be capable of a genuine conversation. What I do think, is that we can train ourselves to be more aware, and give eye contact more often, and have those genuine, raw, "this is me" kind of conversation. I'm going to try and do this more often.